Evaluate the following thesis statements for parallel subtopics. For vocabulary assistance, [Open Dictionary][Close Dictionary] [open new window] 1. The United Nations and countries around the world should work together to end war as a means of conflict resolution as warfare creates havoc for innocent civilians, destroys a society's infrastructure, and wastes billions of dollars. Parallel Not parallel 2. Refugees of war suffer inhumane and intolerable conditions in that they are forcibly uprooted from their homeland, marginalized in unfamiliar surroundings, and disenfranchised. Parallel Not parallel 3. The San Francisco based Society for Art and Cultural Heritage of India, SACHI, is an organization that not only provides forums on Indian art and culture but also an education and charitable organization. Parallel Not parallel 4. I believe that a community college education should be free. I take this position because to encourage more people to attend school and can gain valuable skills. Parallel Not parallel 5. Economic development in the Philippines can be traced to abundance in two areas: the forestry sector and there are a lot of minerals. Parallel Not parallel 6. Malaysia leads the world in latex glove manufacturing, accounting for 60% of the world's supply. These gloves can be classified as medical examination gloves, surgical gloves, and household gloves. Parallel Not parallel 7. To understand another culture deeply, one should study the language and patterns of social organization of the culture, and religions are important, too. Parallel Not parallel 8. Instead of spending millions of dollars on building a wall at the U.S.-Mexico border, the U.S. congress should pass immigration legislation that not only enhances enforcement but also opens a path to citizenship for illegal immigrants and creates a guest worker program. Parallel Not parallel 9. A comparison of the Medical records of civil war era soldiers with those of their living relatives shows that people today look very different from their ancestors and fewer chronic diseases. Parallel Not parallel 10. The increase in life expectancy over the last 50 years can be traced to a healthier lifestyle and medical treatments for chronic diseases have improved. Parallel Not parallel Click for comments on non-parallel statements. #3. Not only...but also...are correlative conjunctions that must be followed by the same grammatical structure. A verb phrase follows "not only." The reader then anticipates a verb phrase after "but also." Two parallel adjectives should modify "organization." Corrected Version: The San Francisco based Society for Art and Cultural Heritage of India, SACHI, is an organization that not only provides forums on Indian art and culture but also functions as an educational and charitable organization. #4. It is better not to repeat the pronoun I. A dependent clause, not an infinitive, must be used after the subordinator because. Revise as one sentence and use parallel verbs. Corrected Version: I believe that a community college education should be free because more students could attend college and gain valuable skills for future employment. #5. The conjunction and should join two noun phrases. Corrected Version: Economic development in the Philippines can be traced to abundance in two areas: the forestry sector and the mineral sector. #7. The sentence suggests three things one should study, so the reader anticipates three nouns in sequence. Corrected Version: To understand another culture deeply, one should study the language, the patterns of social organization, and the major religions of the society. #9. The reader anticipates two verb phrases. Add a verb after and. Corrected Version: A comparison of the Medical records of civil war era soldiers with those of their living relatives shows that people today look very different from their ancestors and have fewer chronic diseases. #10. The reader anticipates two noun phrases after the preposition to. Use a participial adjective to modify medical treatments. Corrected Version: The increase in life expectancy over the last 50 years can be traced to a healthier lifestyle and improved medical treatments for chronic diseases. To read more about the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, click here. |